Quiet Grace, Loud Victories
There’s a quiet ache that comes with feeling misunderstood as a Christian.
I’m not talking about the kind of misunderstood you can clear up with a good heart-to-heart. It’s the kind that remains, when assumptions have already been made, and when those judging you just refuse to see things from your point of view.
If you’re neurodivergent, especially with ADHD, it’s an ache that feels especially familiar. We’re misread as careless when we are overwhelmed, deemed lazy when we’re frozen in the depths of executive dysfunction, condemned as disorganized when we’re just trying to survive.
Sometimes, the hardest part isn’t being misunderstood. You’ve probably dealt with that familiar sting your whole life. The hardest part is when we simply cannot defend ourselves without causing more harm, more tension, more unrest.
So we stay quiet.
Rest in this truth: your silence is not a sign of weakness. While you remain still, God is fighting, and winning, your battles for you. There is no greater security than knowing He is on your side. This isn’t a lack of strength; it is the fruit of the Spirit in active, powerful motion.
When Defending Yourself Costs Too Much
There are moments when speaking up would only escalate the situation. You’re worried that setting the record straight would fracture already-strained relationships or disturb fragile peace.
If you live with ADHD, you may already be familiar with the internal battle of:
- Wanting to explain yourself clearly
- Replaying conversations in your head
- Longing for the truth to be seen
- Feeling the injustice of being misjudged
Yet you choose restraint.
That’s not passivity.
That’s discernment. Self-control. Wisdom. Trust.
God Sees What Others Get Wrong
One of the most freeing spiritual truths I’ve learned is this:
I do not have to prove myself to everyone when God already knows the truth.
Here’s my story. I spent my childhood and young adulthood blindly navigating life without an ADHD diagnosis. While I struggled to find my way, everyone else appeared to follow a manual I never received.
Friends came and went. New jobs and hobbies born of great enthusiasm, that ended as explosively as they started. Why couldn’t I hold onto them? What did I do wrong this time? Am I that much of a terrible person? There must be something deeply wrong at the core of me.
Sure, diagnosis enables me to understand more of the why. Things finally make more sense to me, but unfortunately there’s still a stigma neurodivergance and mental health carries. Not everybody will understand. Not everybody wants to understand. How deeply unfair?
God loves to show up in the unexpected, and put things in our way for us to stumble upon that plants a seed somewhere in our soul. That happens to me a lot. The license plate on the car in front telling me I’d have my rainbow baby? He was there (and spoiler alert, He was right, and I did). This time, it was a simple TikTok, something along the lines of “Sometimes, I just have to let God take over and fight my battles.”
The next time I felt the urge to fight back, I remembered those words. I chose inner calm over the silent rage of needing to prove myself right and someone else wrong.
Your nervous system doesn’t confuse God; after all, He fearfully and wonderfully made you. He looks at your coping strategies without bewilderment. As for your limits? They never disappoint Him
When others see fragments, God – who so lovingly knit and wove you together – sees both the fragments and the full story.
You can read more of my story here.
God Fights Battles We Were Never Meant to Carry
Scripture reminds us again and again that vindication is not our responsibility. Here are 10 Bible Verses for when you’re feeling misundertood as a Christian to anchor your heart.
- Exodus 14:14
“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” - Psalm 37:5-6
“Commit your way to the Lord… He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn.” - Isaiah 54:17
“No weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you.” - Romans 12:19
“Do not avenge yourselves… ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.” - Psalm 139:1-3
“You have searched me, Lord, and you know me.” - 1 Samuel 16:7
“People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” - Proverbs 19:11
“A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.” - Zephaniah 3:17
“The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves.” - 2 Chronicles 20:15
“The battle is not yours, but God’s.” - Psalm 62:1–2
“Truly my soul finds rest in God… I will not be shaken.”
Strong and Silent Can Coexist
While the world demands bold confrontation and instant defense, faith offers a different path. By finding your identity in Christ when others mislabel you, you can trade the exhaustion of self-justification for the peace found in Scripture.
Jesus modeled this perfectly by remaining silent before those who misjudged Him. Beyond just fulfilling prophecy, His silence was the ultimate demonstration of trust. By refusing to defend Himself, He showed that when you are secure in God’s purpose, the world’s noise loses its power.
Silence, when chosen prayerfully, can be an act of:
- Emotional, and spiritual, maturity
- Nervous system protection
- Spiritual surrender
You can be strong without being reactive, confident without being combative, and most importantly, misunderstood and still deeply secure, knowing God’s fighting your corner.
A Gentle Reminder for the Misunderstood
You claim a subtle freedom when you lay down the urge for others to understand you and instead hand that desire over to God.
If you’re walking through a season where you’re feeling misjudged, misunderstood and misread, let this be your reminder:
God is not asking you to fight every battle. He is asking you to trust Him with the outcome.
Rest, step back, let God speak for you.
He’s got this.